i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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