Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
