i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
