Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
