don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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