Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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