Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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