I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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