let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
How naked do you want me to be?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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