I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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