ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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