I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My Higher Power is John Stamos
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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