It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
