we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked into jail on foursquare
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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