I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
