I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
