Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
