Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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