is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
