I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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