So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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