She said her name was "party"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
