did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
