She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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