I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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