I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
