he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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