All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
