Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
