Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
