Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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