Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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