yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
