dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
