I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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