The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
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81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
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I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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