...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
