Well apparently he's into motor boating.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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