i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize