grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
