Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Watching her eat just hurts me
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
