I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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