I think i peed on brittanys purse
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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