so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
