Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Randomize
