My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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