Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
