his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
