im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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