All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
