I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
