Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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