I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize