WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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