My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
