We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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