bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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